My Corner preparation guide
The Complete Parenting Plan Checklist
Every category worth thinking through before you write, or rewrite, a parenting plan, whether things are working fine or nothing about this has been easy. Includes specific structured provisions for high-conflict and parallel parenting situations throughout, not just the cooperative version.
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Most checklists assume you and your ex can sit down and talk it through together. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it isn't close. This one covers both. Skip what doesn't apply. Use everything that does.
Two approaches worth knowing about. Co-parenting assumes ongoing communication and flexibility. Parallel parenting is a different, established model for situations where communication itself is the problem, minimal direct contact, locked-down ambiguity, independent authority within each parent's own time. If that sounds like your situation, use the high-conflict notes marked throughout this guide.
The Basics
- Full names and dates of birth for every child covered
- Both parents' current contact details
- The date this plan was made or last reviewed
Living Arrangements & Schedule
- Regular week-to-week or fortnightly schedule
- How and where handovers happen, and who drives
- School holidays, if different from term time
- Christmas, Easter, and days that matter to your family
- Both parents' birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day
- Long weekends and public holidays
- What happens when a scheduled day falls through
Decision-Making Authority
- Education: school choice, changing schools, tutoring
- Health: non-emergency medical, ongoing treatment, mental health
- Religion and culture, if either parent wants a say
- Whether big decisions need joint agreement, or one parent leads
Communication
- How you'll communicate about the kids, and how often
- What actually counts as an emergency
- How and when the kids talk to whichever parent they're not with
School
- Who attends parent-teacher interviews
- Who receives school reports and updates directly
- Homework expectations across both houses
- Who signs permission slips and forms
Health & Medical
- Default contact for GP and dental appointments
- How decisions about ongoing or specialist care get made
- What happens in a genuine medical emergency
- Who covers costs not covered by insurance
Rules & Expectations Across Both Houses
- Bedtime, screen time, and general house rules, matched or not
- Discipline approach, and whether either parent undermines the other's rules
- Homework and chores, consistent or left to each household
Sleepovers & Other People Around Your Kids
- Notice before an overnight stay somewhere that isn't either parent's home
- Who else is present during parenting time, new partners, roommates, extended family
- Notice before unfamiliar adults are introduced to the children
Activities
- Who pays for sports, music, clubs, or other activities
- Who handles transport
- What happens if your child wants to quit
Money
- School fees, extracurricular, and medical costs not covered elsewhere
- Clothing, uniforms, camps
- How reimbursement works, and the timeframe
- A shared, dated record of what's been paid
Travel & Relocation
- Domestic and overseas travel notice, who holds the passport
- Consent required for overseas travel with the children
- Notice expected if either parent plans to relocate
- How the schedule changes if a relocation happens
New Partners & Extended Family
- Agreed expectation around introducing new partners, timing and notice
- Overnight stays involving a new partner, if relevant
- Contact with grandparents and extended family on both sides
Technology, Social Media & Growing Up
- Mobile phones, when they get one, shared rules
- Social media, screen time, gaming and internet safety
- First jobs, bank accounts, driving lessons, curfews
Protecting the Kids from Adult Conflict
- Neither parent discusses the separation or disputes with the children
- No asking the kids who they want to live with, or to choose a side
- A plan for what happens if a child does get caught in the middle
What Happens When the Plan Isn't Followed
Most plans skip this entirely, and it's often the biggest gap.
- Whether non-compliance gets raised directly first, then mediation
- What documentation looks like if a pattern needs to be shown to someone else later
- A review point if the plan isn't working as written
Dispute Resolution & Review
- How disagreements get raised and worked through
- Who covers mediation costs
- How often the plan gets reviewed, and what triggers a change
You don't need an answer for every line today. Some won't be relevant for years, and if your situation is genuinely difficult, some of this will feel like the most important thing you read all week. Both are fine. The point is deciding on your own terms, while you still can.
This isn't legal advice, and requirements vary by country and region. If your situation involves a formal parenting order, consent order, or safety concerns, a family lawyer where you live can tell you what protections are available.
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